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Needless to say, sparks that Nicholas himself would be proud of flew, and as she leaned over and kissed me I knew that this was the girl that I had been waiting for. Better yet, she had no baggage, no ex whom she was trying to forget, no issues about being out of the closet. Most importantly, unlike Im scared to start dating women that I Im scared to start dating dated, she had no fear of commitment. She was open to a relationship and appeared to desire one with me. And we all lived happily ever after, right? After all, the first set of final year assessments were on the horizon — not to mention the fact that I was in the process of trying to secure an internship that would hopefully lead to future employment.

Did I really want the stress that accompanied becoming involved with another person? Behaving badly In the end, my view of falling in love became so cynical and negative that it resulted in the cessation of the relationship. The type of individual whose emotional unavailability I had been on the receiving end of. The type of person that I had in the past not only harshly judged, but also urged friends to kick to the curb. Was I a bad person?

Individuals who must clearly get a kick atart of messing people around. People who derived power from keeping someone on a dwting. The ways we were hurt in previous relationships, starting from our childhoodhave a strong influence on how we perceive the people we get close to as well as how we act in our romantic relationships. Old, negative dynamics may make us wary of opening ourselves up to someone new. We may steer away from intimacy, because it stirs up old feelings of hurt, loss, anger or rejection.

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So, I lit a candle for love while at a temple that I was visiting. Believe in your own abilities. One of the biggest things is to realize that we our in control with what happens to us in our lives. This ability to have control over our lives isn't meant to be seen as intimidating or as something to worry about, but as empowering. It's a matter of knowing that we have the power to transform our lives and manifest whatever it is that our heart's desire if we truly believe that we can.

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