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They started having sex with other people only Kknky months after their marriageand by their count, have been in over three hundred "parties" with Kinky sex date in anxi people. The couple is in their seventies, and are still going strong. With four children and eight grandchildren, and marriage that spans thirty years, it's hard to criticize the apparent sed of their relationship, though I'm sure that some will. My own literary and psychological explorations into the phenomenon of alternative sexual practices began when, in my clinical practice, I encountered two different couples who lived what they called a " hotwife " lifestyle, where the wives had sex with other men, with the husband's permission and encouragement.

Distinct from the Smith's swinging lifestyle, the hotwife couples' practices don't include outside sex with other partners, unless it occurs in the confines of group sex centered around the wife. I will share that I was floored by these couples' descriptions, as their practices so directly contradict the social programming that males receive, that we must jealously and violently guard and protect our mates' sexuality from other men. The thing that was even more surprising to me? Both of the first couples I encountered were professional, educated and successful. Like the Smiths, they both had decades-long marriages.

One person plays the 'top' or dominant role, while the other plays the 'bottom' or submissive role.

According to a post Shades survey by Marie Claire, 85 percent of US adults had engaged in at least light-fare play using masks, blindfolds and bondage tools. While there is plenty of room for sexual experimentation when it comes to BDSM, there are also many physical and mental health benefits - when practiced safely and consensually. The Fifty Shades book and movie franchise made kinky sex less taboo - and according to experts that could be a good thing for our physical and mental health 1. A study found that both dominants and submissives consistently had lower levels of cortisol after engaging in bondage compared to before. Cortisol, often called the 'stress hormone', regulates many changes in the body including blood sugar glucose levels, immune responses and inflammation.

A number of health benefits have been found with the risk of lowering stress levels including reducing the risk of high blood pressure, heart disease and symptoms of asthma. When sex is vanilla all along, it may make sense for both partners to address these fears and to ask themselves why theatrical experimentation or being scrutinized is anxiety-provoking. Can you tolerate your own imperfections? Are you too self- critical? Do you feel insecure about your partner seeing too much of you? Asking these questions may pave the way to lessen the anxiety.

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Fear of being "weird": People who keep the sex "vanilla" also want to avoid feeling "weird". They associate any sex out of the ordinary as being weird and subconsciously relish the idea of being "regular" at the risk of being boring. It often helps for couples to dispel with fears of being "weird" by exploring their own limits of "weirdness" and to explore what crossing this line safely would mean. What would happen if you let go of "weird? Fear of being excluded: Many people who practice vanilla sex imagine that they are mainstream.

But this is often because many couples do not reveal their non-mainstream practices.


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